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Y’Roden blinked at Ghet and looked over the side, "Water... yes, hmmm, oh well, I'm sure I have a mop somewhere." His eyes flickered back to hers and his expression changed over, eyes darkening with emotion. "Gods woman, you drive me mad when I can't have you," he cupped her face and kissed her, "And just as mad when I am 'having' you." Brushing damp tendrils of wet hair of her cheek he kissed her again, murmuring softly against her lips. "Nya Lisse Nwalme."
With a groan he hugged her close for a moment, "I guess I have to let you go sometime soon don't I?"
Ghet sighed. The pain and love in his voice touched her deeply. "I wish it weren't so, my love. But yes, I have to go." She'd already stayed longer than she really should have. She kissed Y’Roden again and pulled her body away from his and out of the water. Wrapping a towel around herself, she said, "Got any scissors?"
Without waiting for an answer, she rummaged through the drawers of his sink and found a pair. She teased out a lock of her hair and cut it, then braided the long red strands together, sitting on the side of the bath. She knotted the ends and gave it to him, closing his hand around it. "So you won't forget me."
She turned away from the look in his eyes and said, "I have to get dressed."
Y’Roden’s watched her for a moment, the opened his hand to look at the strand of hair. "As if I ever could forget you," he said softly. Rising he stepped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around his waist. Running a hand through his wet fringe he straightened it out, a thoughtful expression on his face as he watched Ghet head for the bedroom. His emerald eyes softened a bit as he followed close behind.
Y’Roden paused in the doorway, watching as Ghet gathered up her clothing. There was an oddly resolute look in his eye, as if he had made some sort of monumental decision. Crossing the room he took her gently by the shoulders and turned her to face him. "Lyeier i cale ta ancal indonya vea agaru rosse nya melda mine, hantalye. Now, let me give you something in return."
Taking her hand he coiled the braid around both of their fingers and reached out to take the other. His smile was a little shaky as he stepped back a bit, the tell tale feel of electricity flowing over their skin as he drew on the Aethyr. His arms went rigid, drawing hers to the side as his head fell back, a gasp of pain forced from his lungs as astral light burst from his chest.
Within the glow a crystal formed, small and perfect with an emerald green hue... glittering, beautiful, and insubstantial. For you.... a piece of me that will forever dwell within your soul... His breathing was rapid and sweat had beaded on his forehead... If you desire it...
It was possible, but not very likely, that if Ghet had known what he was going to do, she would have stopped him. It shamed her, how much he loved her.
She winced when he gasped in pain, then simply stared at the beauty hanging between them. She could see this was costing him. a piece of me that will forever dwell within your soul... If you desire it...
How could she say no? How often is a woman offered such a gift of love? And besides... I do desire it. Y’Roden...
Y’Roden smiled at the momentary doubt he saw in Ghet's eyes, it seemed to him that she didn't quite realize how sweet and giving a soul she was. True, she wasn't the faithful type, but can someone truly be faulted for loving too much? He supposed it depended on the point of view.
Her words made his eyes sparkle with a rarely felt joy, and he let the fragment of his soul drift to her, his eyes closing as it sank into her chest. He felt himself sinking into her spirit, merging with her and slowly clicking into place. "Well that was easy," he murmured in surprise.
Ghet gasped. She wasn't sure if the sensation she felt as the emerald-green fragment entered her was real or imagined, and she knew it didn't matter. But it seemed to her that her soul took his eagerly, joyfully.
She broke the contact with his hands and pulled him closer to her. "That was easy?" she murmured, kissing him. "I'd hate to see hard."
Y’Roden hugged Ghet close and nuzzled into her hair, "I mean the fit," he said softly, "Some souls don't... mesh... as well." He felt his own shift at the thought, pushing against the dark fragment that was roughly jammed into it. A sudden throbbing pain in his skull set off an alarm bell in his head and the elf tightened his arms around her for a second.
"Wait here, I'll be right back." Without explanation he turned and half ran out of the room.
Something was wrong. One thing Ghet was not very good at, was butting out. Whatever was wrong with Y’Roden, he'd left the room because he didn't want her to see it.
Knowing this, she paused for nearly a whole second before she went after him.
Y’Roden shut the door behind him and leaned on it heavily, clutching his head between his hands. He could feel Samara moving in his soul, her cold consciousness trying to find a handhold on him. Ulka nis! Autanya! Heca!"
Laughter rang in his mind and he was driven to his knees, the white towel around his waist turning crimson over the scar on his abdomen. Cursing he shook her off, driving her back and out of his head as he stumbled for the sink. "Damn..."
Ghet stood in the doorway, frozen in fear. The sight of blood snapped her out of it, and she ran to Y’Roden. "Oh gods, my love, what's happening, what's wrong?" Well-trained instincts took over, and she bunched the towel over the scar, trying to stop the bleeding.
Y’Roden went white when Ghet appeared beside him, quickly followed by a flush of shame as he tried to push her hands away. "I'm alright.... "
Gods... This usually only happened at night, and when no one was around to see it. "It will stop in a minute... its alright..." He drew her hands up and kissed her blood stained fingers. "Oh... gods Ghet, I'm sorry." Turning on the taps he made some attempt at washing the blood from her hands, "You weren't meant to see that." He gave her a half admonishing look and felt his face flush red again.
Ghet pulled her hands away and made a noise that sounded suspiciously like tutting. "Don't be so bloody stupid," she said fiercely. The news that this appeared to be a regular occurrence was not reassuring. "I worry about you. And I've had blood on my hands before. Okay, you've scared a few years off my life, but I don't think I'm going to need them."
His shame confused her. "You're entitled to your secrets, my love. Even, I suppose, if they destroy you."
Y’Roden dropped his gaze, the fringe between his eyes shaking. Tossing the towel to the floor he watched for a moment as his body healed itself, wondering for the hundredth time why the scar would never leave as so many others had. The flesh knitted itself closed, pale and white in a jagged pattern across his skin. "Has Galain ever told you about Corin? He was there when we were brought back from the Dark Dimension... He didn't tell you.... what it was like?"
Ghet shook her head. She was so badly shaken she could deal perfectly well with Y’Roden being completely naked in front of her.
No doubt that would wear off.
"He never said anything. Galain and I don't talk, we play."
She was terribly afraid that this had been brought on by what he'd done for her.
Leaning against the counter Y’Roden studied Ghet's face for a moment, reaching up the trace the line of her jaw. "It isn't something I talk about with... anyone. My parents don't even know the full extent of what happened to me over there." Grabbing a fresh towel he wrapped it around his waist and leaned back again, knuckling his forehead. "When I was ten years old, my Uncle got it in his head that he could use An'Thaya for his ambitions. She was only a day old when he came for her, and we didn't have much warning."
He wondered if she truly wanted to hear all of this, but continued anyway. "To make a long story short, he didn't get his hands on her, but she and my Fathers most trusted General were lost. Corin itself was tossed into a rift between dimensions, and due to clashing forces on the Aethyr; we were tossed into a dimension we couldn't get out of. It was dark... all the time, and full of... creatures." He paused and looked at her, "Are you sure you want to hear this?"
Ghet reached out in return and stroked his face. "If you knew... the things I've had done to me, you would not ask. I know I'm a light person, but not because I was born this way. Because I chose not to be weighed down by my past. Don't feel you have to protect me."
She had seen, while she spoke, the picture that haunted her whenever she thought about those times: Christian, lapping the blood that ran from a hundred cuts on her chest and arms and neck, while he took her. And herself, bound, bleeding, filled with pain. And loving it.
Any other time he had thought of telling someone, he had started the story, and then seen an odd look in their eye that told him not too. Ghet was different. For a moment a vision flickered through his mind, he didn't know much about her past either, and that fact suddenly struck him hard. He gazed at her for a moment with a soft look in the depths of his eyes before he spoke again.
"All right.... " Running a hand through his damp hair he started where he had left off. "For the first five years everything was ok. Life was a struggle, but it was bearable. I was very, very young for an elf, but I was needed for my gift, the magnification fortified our defences, and gave us light to grow food by. But... when I was fifteen the dreams started. She was beautiful, skin the colour of china, raven dark hair, blood red lips... and the strangest crimson eyes."
He shook himself as if warding off a chill; "I didn't actually see her until I was twenty years old. A band of Orcs caught us unaware on a hunting foray, and at first I thought she was an illusion of the battle madness. My people started dying... she cut through them like a scythe through wheat, and when she called out for me.... I can't say I ran into her arms, but I didn't run either. I was still a child in the Elven way of things; it wasn't in me to resist her. I lay down with her on blood soaked ground and... well... I was hers."
His fingers traced the scar across his abdomen; "She gave me this then, as if baptizing herself in my blood. I was horrified and... Europhoric all at once." His face burned with shame again and he found he couldn't quite meet Ghet's eyes. "After awhile I turned my back on my people. I fell so deeply into her that I couldn't get out again. It took An'Thaya dragging Corin back into the light.. and me with it...kicking and screaming the whole way... It took that much to break me from Samara's grasp."
He finally looked up into Ghet's datum eyes, "What kind of man does that make me? What kind of King will I ever be to my people? How does a weak man that still craves the darkness rule a Kingdom of light?"
Ghet sat on the side of the bath and listened, never taking her eyes from his face. Her heart ached, and with a certain amount of sympathy.
She sighed, and said, "What kind of a king would he make who had never known pain? How could he understand the griefs of others? At least you will know the darkness when you see it..."
She paused. She saw his shame, and she understood it. She blushed, as she tried to convey to him just how she understood. "I... my first commanding officer... took me as a lover. He tortured me; beat me, made me do things... He was empathic, he... enjoyed feeling my pain. Those few I've told think... how glad I should be to be rid of him, how dreadful it must have been. There's been no-one I could tell... how much I liked it, how much I craved what he did to me. He didn't rape me, he never had to. I went back to him at every opportunity. I saw him last just after I was married, and... if Galain and Chase hadn't come along, I think I still might have gone with him. I'll never know."
She stood, and wound her arms around his neck. "I can't answer your questions, but I would never condemn you for feeling as you do." She pursed her lips. She knew Christian only stayed away from her because of Chase. "She's not finished with you, is she?"
Y’Roden was rather dumbstruck at first, then a little relieved that he wasn't alone. A spark of anger followed, but he beat it back down, Ghet, like himself, had made choices. It did little good to hate the man she made them with.
Her question sent a cold chill up his spine. "No, she’s not. She haunts my dreams at night, and she lives where she forced herself all those years ago... right here," he brushed Ghet's soul with his own, shifting it so the raw wounded place with the malfitting darkness lay. "Perhaps someday she will tire of the struggle, but I doubt it. My gift gave her power over the world she rules, and it wasn't easily given up."
Pulling Ghet close he sighed into her hair, "It seems both of us have been tested for our strength of will. Perhaps the moral of the story is that it can't be done alone?" The last words were almost bitter, and he hugged her tight. "Thank you for listening.... it actually feels.... liberating to tell someone. Especially a kindred spirit."
Funny how he felt joy and desolation at the same time. Ghetsuhm fit his soul like no other woman had, or would again. And she belonged to another... how poetically fitting to the theme of his life.
Ghet smiled sadly against his chest. "I've never been renowned for my strength of will. Yet we are both still here, still as free as we can be. You fight her all the time, that takes tremendous strength. If it ever gets too much, you let me know, okay? I will help all I can."
But she wondered, if they were free to be together, would they save each other? Or would each send the other back into the darkness?
Ghet had no compunctions. She hated the woman who tortured Y’Roden like this. At least she'd been old enough to make her own decisions.
She reached up and stroked his hair. "I hope you find happiness, my love."
For the first time in his life Y’Roden simply gave in to being comforted. It wasn't something he had ever accepted from his family, or anyone else for that matter. From Ghet it was different, she didn't pity him, she understood, and that made it an entirely different matter.
"I wish you could help," he smiled, "It would be nice to be able to let my guard down for even a day... but I can't." He leaned into her touch, turning his head to kiss her wrist. "Happiness... you have already given me that. No matter what happens, today will be my moment of clarity. Nya melda, if ever you need me I am here." He paused, then brushed her soul, causing the fragment within to tingle. "Or rather...I am here."
She shivered as she felt his gift to her move inside her. She only wished she could give him more. She raised her mouth to his, whispered, "I am glad, my love."
She pulled away a little, her face twisting with frustration. "Dammit, I really have to go. But I will come back. And if you ever need to just talk, you let me know." She reached up and stroked his face again. "Damn."
Y’Roden smiled and kissed Ghet's fingers, a sparkle covering the sadness in his eyes. "You can count on it." He bent to brush her lips with his and sighed, " I love you Ghet... Go on, get out of here before I decide to keep you." He straightened and brushed his fingers along the line of her jaw, "And you are welcome back anytime, the door is always open. "
Ghet kissed the hand stroking her face, her eyes glistening with tears at his words. The tears stole her voice, and she gave him one long last look before she left, tearing herself away from him with a pain that was physical.
She closed his door behind her and spent a moment leaning against the wall in the hallway. A few tears escaped. She pushed them away, was still a moment, then her head came up, and she walked away.
She would never forget a moment of it.
Y’Roden sat down on the couch and looked around the empty room. It was suddenly entirely to quiet.... Drawing a ragged sigh he leaned back and stared up at the ceiling. He had been given a gift... a bittersweet one perhaps, but one he would hold close to his heart forever.
Suddenly he had the feeling he was being watched, and turning his head he found the Fire Dancer staring at him. "What? You've never seen anyone watch their soul walk out the door before?"
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