The sounds of running water filled the room, Mira loved Whispin and all the baths that could be found in any given place. There was a pause in the day's activities, the inevitable pause where everyone took a nap, a bath, ate a meal...and not all in that order. Bran had the children in another wing of the building to give Mira time to relax without hearing the squabbling of two lively children and the dragon-elf had just slipped into the steaming waters and let her eyes drift shut when she heard quite footfalls enter the room.
An'Thaya...she knew the other woman by scent alone, a scent that was oddly like that of her mother, Se'Liene.
"An'Thaya?" Mira breathed quietly and sat up in the bathing pool and watched the red-head curiously. She'd been aware of the half-elf's return from Nine Hells...it had been whispered and gossiped about in near silent conversations in every corner of Corin.
Mira's jade eyes watched her, concern in the green depths of her eyes, "I'm almost afraid to ask, but, are you lost?"
The redheaded Amazon paused just shy of the bathing pool, the question leaving her speechless for a moment. She had stolen away from her chambers, leaving Galain sleeping soundly and taking hidden corridors that only the Rangers and Royal family knew of. At first she had simply wandered, unsure of what she was looking for, and finally, had found herself here.
There was a question in the back of her mind… a small guttering flame of hope. Mira… she was a Soul Healer, An’Thaya knew this for a fact. The Dragon Elf had helped Y’Roden years ago at the Silver Dryad, pulling his soul back together when it had threatened to break.
Could the same be done for her?
Emerald eyes studied jade for a long moment, the faceted jewels appearing huge in Tay’s pale, gaunt face. Her lips parted, a breath expelling as she struggled for words.
And yet… did she want this? Would it not be easier to just die rather than live for eternity in this loving hell? And what if it didn’t work? Y’Roden’s soul had been slightly unraveled, not completely shifted on its axis. She might very well be putting Mira in danger…
“Suilad, Mira,” she said finally, “I… uhm… you know… I think I’ve come to say I’m sorry.” Not initially true, but still accurate. “I… Your Father…”
Mira drew in a deep breath and nodded slowly. Her fingers traced a rippling line across the surface of the still waters, "My father..." She watched the ripples roll away from her fingers then lifted them and let a single drop fall to the pool and cause a new chain of ripples, "You tell me you've come to say you're sorry, and throw the words 'my father' into the same sentence?" Gentle amusement tinged her words, "I find that hard to understand...or believe..." A dark brow raised in a questioning arch as Mira studied the much changed Amazon Queen, "but then again," the dragon-elf tilted her head to the side, "maybe not."
Confusion stirred in the depths of An’Thaya’s eyes as she leaned heavily on a lounge close to the pool, then gave in and perched on the edge of it. Sucking on her bottom lip for a moment she regarded the dark haired beauty in the pool for several long moments before speaking again.
“Mira… Callan and I have our differences, to say the least, but… I didn’t… I would never.” The Amazon blanched slightly, “I’ve never seen anything quite like that… Gods, is he always like that?” Tearing her gaze away Tay turned towards the window, “He loves Agaru a great deal, obviously, I never gave that any consideration when I left. I forget, sometimes, that she has a life too. That she has someone that loves her that much.”
"Is he always like what?" Mira asked softly, "Always Hate, Rage and Violence contained in one creature born of Flame and Chaos? Love, Honor and Mercy? Things of Light mingled equally with things of Dark?" Mira nodded slowly, "Aye. He is always like that, unless the Horizon is lost. Then? Well. What happened in Corin is just a..." She shook her head slowly and watched a ripple move away from her, "just a small ripple compared to what he is capable of."
A sliver of a memory flickered in her mind, causing her vision to seem to turn inward, Callan raging behind a wall of flames, a prison of blue fire Mira herself had made after he'd all but crushed Vanya Talonspear's skull with a swung fist. A slight shudder later, Mira shook off the memory, yet oddly, she could still feel the cut on her cheek where his signet ring had slashed her flesh open when he had swung at her too.
"Aye...he loves her, or he would not have bonded to her. Its...bonding to another is something not done lightly with our kind, An'Thaya. It means, someday, if a bond between two of our kind had been made, then eventually, one of the two will slide into Madness. I walked that the edges of that path while Bran was gone...and every moment the wards of Nenlante separate us, I feel it gnawing at me. To lose a mate is...it is usually the end of us."
The Amazon’s back tensed, ramrod straight as she sat, still facing away from Mira. Silence filled the bathing room, filled only with the sound of running water. When she turned to face the Dragon Elf, Tay’s eyes had darkened several shades to a near black hue. “What a sweet hell,” she said in a disconnected tone. Fragile fingers touched at her bottom lip for a moment, “just a ripple…”
Emerald jewels refocused on Mira’s face and the redhead slid to her feet, “Oh my Gods… I nearly killed him didn’t I?” Fingertips reached round to her back and the black dragon that marked her skin, “Then again… I’ve been killing him slowly for a while. Dammit… why does he have to be so absolutely maddening?” Brushing at her short-cropped hair in irritation she laughed, a sound that was strained and unnatural, “I’m sorry, you are the wrong person to be asking, aren’t you? I must sound like a total mad woman… though really, that isn’t far off the mark. Here I am in the middle of your bathing room… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come here.”
Mira watched An'Thaya with growing, yet concealed worry. The Amazon was a flickering lighthouse of emotion, one moment thoughtful, questioning, the next minute almost in hysterics from the sound of her laughter.
"An'Thaya, the bath can wait." Mira hauled herself out of the water and slipped a white robe over her wet form, "The water will be there, as warm as ever."
She settled quietly next to An'Thaya and reached across to a small table set with chilled wine and Mai'Tus fruit, "Here," She pressed a filled glass into the red-head's palm and poured her own, "Aye...you could have killed him. But the thing is, An'Thaya, I said it was the end of us, to lose a mate." Mira took a long drink and swallowed, "I didn't say it always killed us." She rolled the stem of the crystal glass between her calloused fingers and watched the liquid within rock back and forth, "And...Thaya...something I think you should realize, and I make no apology for his threats, but...it is so much easier to say goodbye when know the other hates you with every fiber of their being. It is easier to walk away, to throw away everything you've fought for, when you know know you are hated...and can hate back."
She paused and took another drink, swallowed slowly, then, "Hate...its a powerful emotion. As much a part of my blood, of his blood, as Love is. And it has been known to sustain a person when all else is stripped from them. One can lose hope, faith, pride and self...ah...but hate? Hate is enduring...and can carry you through when Love fails."
The Amazon stared at the Mai’Tus wine, hopelessly distracted by its scent and color for a moment, then brought it to her lips, closing her eyes and drinking as she listened to Mira speak. It had been months since anything but water had passed her lips, and the familiar taste was a balm to her frazzled nerves. Crimson lashes lifted and she peered at the other woman over the rim of the glass, sudden understanding dawning in her eyes.
“Hate,” she said softly, “now that I comprehend.” An’Thaya was well aware of the driving power behind hatred; it had kept her going most of her life. Tallin, Gareth, Avathar, Iavan… gods, even at one time, Galain himself. White-hot rage and burning vengeance had held Tay in its unmerciful grip more than once, she was good at hatred, and Callan knew it. After all, the Amazon had shown him nothing but venom since the moment they had met.
The entire meaning of what Mira was saying finally dawned on her and the Amazon nearly dropped her glass. “He… Damn.” Rubbing at her eyebrows with thumb and forefinger Tay sighed, “Your Father certainly has a gift for pushing my buttons,” she muttered, “its frightening to think he knows me so well.”
"Its...a talent with him. He tends to pick and push until he finds the trip wires...and he tucks that knowledge away until he needs it." Mira nodded, "He pushed every button you have, An'Thaya, for two reasons. To make it easier for he and Agaru to say goodbye...and to give you a lifeline. Something to burn in the depths of your soul, a fire kindled to make you hold on...the thought that you might be avenging the death of every child you can lay claim too was exactly what he wanted you to take back to Nine Hells with you...the only question in my mind is, could he have done it? And unfortunately, the only answer I have is...yes."
“The Agaru part I understand,” Tay answered, her tone slightly off, “it’s the second half I don’t get. Whether he could have done it or not, which I have no doubt he could have, why? Why the hell would he care if I had a lifeline or not? There was no way out of there without the ruling of the Fates, nothing Callan Blackthorn could say or do was going to change that. Why torture me and add to my hell by making me think my children were going to die with me?” She shook her head, “I don’t believe it was a lifeline… I think it was pure malice. Gods… does he hate me that much?”
The Amazon stared into the depths of her wine, “stupid question… of course he does. I’ve given him ample reason, and vice versa I suppose. I should just stay the hell away from him, but Agaru makes that terribly difficult.”
"Oh, aye, it was pure malice, I'll grant you that. What better way to lash out at someone, than through the thing they love most? Their children? But make no mistake, he wanted you to live and wallow in it. It's not called Grieving Madness, the Roesor d'Viggtuii, for nothing...it is madness, An'Thaya. Our...chemistry...its...once we bond? We know nothing but joy, the high of being in love, and over time, we grow used to it. We level off, but the drug is still there. Sever the bond? And you're looking at a withdrawl such as no one outside our kind has ever experienced." Mira poured her glass full again and offered the same for An'Thaya.
As she sat in silence for a few moments, Mira couldn't help but think of the fine line between extreme Hate and Love, the same fine line that separated any extreme emotion. Bonding to Agaru was a disaster in the making, an inevitable train-wreck that was going to end badly, she could feel it in her bones, knew it as surely as the sun would rise.
She also knew her father well enough to know he would have left Whispin after the funeral. Callan was never comfortable with himself after taking a path such as this, and more than likely, he'd found himself sliding back into the same self-made prison he'd been in when he'd first came to the Dryad.
After all, that place in his heart was safe, familiar....
"I wouldn't worry about being around him overly much." Mira patted An'Thaya on the knee, "More than likely, he's already gone. And you? You need to sleep. You are more than welcome to stay here. Perhaps there is more you'd like to talk about?"
Her fingers closed around the delicate red-head's shoulder reassuringly, and a sudden sense of vertigo almost overwhelmed her. Sweet Mother Flame...she was worried about Callan losing the Horizon? An'Thaya's soul was wobbling dangerously...and growing more unstable with each breath, granted it was an agonizingly slow thing.
Perhaps it wouldn't matter if Callan were gone. If An'Thaya was unraveling, it was just a matter of time before her entire soul collapsed...and never had Mira felt more helpless in her life...with one exception...
When she'd watched Callan slide into Madness and she, his daughter, hadn't been strong enough to save or slay him.
Unaware of what Mira had picked up on, Tay laughed, a slightly broken sound. “The withdrawal sounds worth it,” her tone was, once again, strained, and she looked to be on the verge of tears. “He is still here,” she added, “I can feel him.”
Taking a slow inhalation of breath she turned to look the Dragon Elf in the eye and managed a slightly watery smile, “I should go… Galain will worry if he wakes up and I’m not there.”
Or just wander off and crawl into Ghet’s bed instead, was her rather uncharitable follow up thought, which she immediately smacked herself for.
“Thank you, though… it’s… well, its good to have someone to listen that isn’t… Just, Hantale, Mira.”
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